2:00 a.m. yesterday morning and I was sprawled on my bedroom floor amidst a large, eclectic pile of items – each clamoring for my attention. How does a girl decide what is most important for a year or more’s tenure in Afghanistan? How many mini albums bulging with photos would be reasonable, at the expense of nicely worn-in shoes? The box of smoked salmon and the exotic tin of scented candle – both last-minute gifts – could not be left behind.
I had carelessly jested that, with the exception of my passport, the most indispensable item was my Aveda makeup. It turns out that I must have tempted fate, because I left my Aveda compact behind at YVR in the ladies’ room in Departures this morning. Luckily I was able to purchase some Elizabeth Arden at the Duty Free in Toronto for a hair-raising $35 before leaving the country. After a brief phone call home from a YYZ payphone, I met with the Mennonite Economic Development Associates (MEDA) Canada Manager in the International Departures terminal. What a relief that she had valiantly secured my passport with an approved Indian visa in time after the threat of a delay in processing the paperwork. She will be helping us lay the groundwork for this project to facilitate the development of business capacity among Afghan women entrepreneurs in Parwan province and improved logistics to market their horticultural goods in Kabul. It felt good to have my passport back in the safety of my pocket.
I’m now somewhere up in the air en route to Zurich, where this Air Canada Boeing 767 will refuel before heading to New Delhi, India. I have just had the most vile saag (spinach prepared in Indian style) I have ever tasted. At least the pistachio pudding was reasonably tasty. It’s going to be a long flight. Overall, it was harder to manage the final logistics than I had anticipated. Packing up belongings and saying good-byes always makes me reflective. I come face-to-face with my unfinished projects and priorities: this time, the wedding scrapbook that hasn’t yet been completed, the workout plans that were carefully laid out and then left to gather dust this past year… I think back to all the hours I spent exploring what it means to start a small business and fret that what I’ve done has had little impact.
All the odds and ends and our few sticks of furniture are now neatly packed away at my mother- and father-in-laws’ and I marvel at how little we own of real value. And then suddenly it is the favorite CDs, the photos of family and friends, the inspirational book – in my case Pema Chodron’s “Comfortable with Uncertainty”, the identity documents, and the small mementoes that seem indispensably important. My little sister-in-law Nargis has wrapped herself around me for the past few days, knowing I would soon be gone. Despite the call of adventure, I’m sad to leave too. The good-byes are mixed, everyone offering up a word of caution, a word of advice. One warns me not to be shocked at what I see, to observe, not get emotionally wrapped up in the situations I encounter. Another advises that I trust the inner leading that has directed me down this path.
Tariq made his departure from YVR today as well and will be arriving a day before me in Kabul via Frankfurt and Dubai. I don’t feel courageous or noble – or, on the other hand - entirely self-interested. I have felt the inner call of a worthy project and the benefits of the opportunity made good sense to Tariq and I. We know we will approach this experience in Afghanistan from different perspectives – it will be an interesting process, no doubt with its highs and lows. One thing I am certain of is that the experience will have a shaping influence on me. For the moment, I am reading various articles on the recent political history of the country – tribalism and local customs, the current state of security, the multi-dimensional presences of the international community in Kabul. Am I prepared for what I am about to see and do? Of course not… How could I be? I am still in the process of detaching from my Vancouver and my “to-do” list of banking and paperwork and vaccines and packing. I know that I have some expectations and assumptions but I have purposely avoided crystallizing them into specific images and concepts. My approach is to keep an open mind, remain as professional as possible, avoid panicking, stay warm, and build a solid framework for the implementation of this project.
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